It’s the long-awaited Christmas feast!

I’ve been training for this one, I have. Stuffing myself with Quality Street, Lindt, and all other forms of chocolate for weeks in preparation for the chocolate marathon at Christmas, and eating more pannetone than is recommended by the Italian Pannetone Board just so I can say I’ve had enough of it once the stores stop selling them.

All for Christmas Day, when the calories are ignored, and an all-day buffet ensues.

Not many words accompanying the pictures, as I am too full.

But first comes the preparation – the peeling, the roasting, the washing, the baking, the setting of table.

The Prep:

All the vegetables are laid out on the table, ready to be peeled and baton-ed.

We have the kale, a slightly crunchy, bitter vegetable – to be boiled. Go on, chuck it in the pan with some water, now that’s a good ‘un.

The ever-adored Brussel sprouts – the stuff of dreams (mine, anyway. I like them). Mini cabbages in looks, mini cabbages in flavour. Put them in with the kale.

Rustic carrots, still in their bunches. Top and tail them, cut them into batons, and place them in the roasting pan with some oil, and a little bit of honey.

The cauliflower, to be boiled in the same pan as the kale and sprouts. Some like it crunchy, some like it mushy, I prefer it stir fried with some garlic and and mince, but of course you can’t have that for the Christmas meal.

And lastly, in the vegetable category, the parsnip. The not-so-tanned cousin of the carrot (not really, but they look similar) is great roasted with a bit of oil, when there is a slight crunchiness on the outside and a sweet, sticky mushy centre.

And in between all that peeling and cutting, a mini Quality Street break.

The roasting and cooking

Stuffing – traditionally stuffed in the turkey (thus called stuffing) to retain the moisture, and to add flavour to the turkey, it can also be cooked separately from the turkey, in a baking tray. What I like about stuffing is the fact that it tastes slightly like chicken congee (rice porridge), with fried shallots (to me anyway. To most people it probably tastes like stuffing).

Bacon rolls, also known as ‘pigs in blankets’ because the sausage meat is wrapped in bacon, thus the logic of both names.

Joint of bacon – when turkey alone just ain’t enough.

Ten pieces of bacon joint, sitting on the plate
Ten pieces of bacon joint, sitting on the plate
And if one piece of bacon joint should accidentally get eaten by me
There’ll be no bacon joint pieces left, sitting on the plate

(From one to none, in the space of five seconds.)

The turkey. In most cooking programmes, turkeys don’t look like this. They kinda look brown, as though they’ve been on holiday for a week in the South of France, with a nice shiny layer of glistening moisture to show just how succulent they are. Well, in reality, turkeys in oven don’t like to cooperate, and sometimes, you have to cover them in bacon to retain any moisture in the turkey. So, even though it doesn’t look like it’s been on holiday, it tasted excellent. Roasted with sausages and Shitake mushrooms swimming around it.

Roasties, spuds, tatties, or roast potatoes. First peeled, then boiled, then shaken around in the pan to ensure they’re slightly mooshed and then roasted in the oven. The mooshed bits crisp up reaaaaal nicely when roasted well.

Roast carrots and parsnips.

The stuffing from earlier. (This is taking alot of effort, what with the fullness and the telly on in the background, thus the lack of illustrative descriptions). Trust me, the meal was really nice.

The vegetarian pie, with a shortcrust pastry base, some vegetables, mushrooms and cheese as filling, and a cheesy-scone mixture for the pie cover.

The eating:

This was why I am still so full (and it’s Boxing Day).

My plate from Angle 1 – you can see the turkey, the sausage, and some of the stuffing on the left of the plate. At the back, you can see the Brussel sprouts, and some of the parsnips at the top right of the plate.

My plate from Angle 2 – here you can see the stuffing which has been dolloped with Coleman’s English mustard (a must … ard, for most meals). Brussels on the left.

My plate from Angle 3 – the roast parsnips and carrots and the turkey and sausage. Gravy drizzled all over, with cranberry sauce.

Dessert – summer fruit pavlova, with a lemon filling. We found that this goes really well with apple crumble.

Merry Christmas to all, and if you’re as full as I am, just watch some telly and forget about the washing up.